As I sit here thinking, as usual, but heading toward the end of the day, I think to myself..what is it that I lack that most other people don't??
I am told I am sweet, I am a peacekeeper to a fault, a helper and a thinker. I am not considered very outspoken or opinionated though I do have my own very strong opinions and ideas...yet open minded to all ways of thinking and then tend to overthink...lol. I am also told I need to open my mouth and speak, question and say what I have to say and not overthink, say what I have to say and not stop myself, to question what it is I havre to say or how it will be perceived. Wow did that even make sense?? :/ hmmm see what I mean..lol
Let me try to sort this out....
A lot of times I seem to hold back rather than say what comes to mind and consider too many angles of looking at things instead of just looking at my own way and expressing it...I think..
I really and truly want to be heard and respected for what I have to say but I find my worst critic is me. I want to be me and say what's on my mind but often when I have then its seems I have said something wrong, screwed something up by what I've said or been taken wrongly and then had ppl assume things from what I've said that were way out of truth.
Ok and so I hate to admit this but I'm going to be super honest here... when it comes to some ppl I don't see a point in putting myself or my voice out there. Come on now, you know the type I'm talking about. Those that just won't and can't grasp the full meaning of what you're saying and it's just frustrating when you have to keep repeating or explaining what I'm trying to express. Does that make me sound terrible? It just might, I know that but it is one of the reasons I don't always speak up.
There are a few other reasons besides that but ya I do plan to start speaking my mind more and more. I'm old enough to know the world won't end if I put my cards out on the table and Im also old enough to know that I if someone doesn't like what it is I say then they can either...
A. deal with it and except that I differ in my opinion about things
B. Not ask or bring those up anymore
or
C. Move on along!
So this blog thing may be my catalyst, my awakening as I try to free myself and show the world who I am.
I may not always do it in an eloquent manner..in fact at times it may be down right ugly lol
But it will be interesting I'm sure ;)